Great story. history? XXX The breaks with ID could help, maintain the rotation through the characters. Keep writing and I’ll keep reading.«12345» Damn the consequences and space each paragraph as much as you want. u’r critics a PITA! history? I don’t think it took away from the story. Cija-The story evolved like a shack turning into a mansion, my biggest regret was not making the POV changes read clearly. great POV x’s 4. lol
horny-I think maintaining a rotation through the characters is a good idea and ID’ing each POV change would probabily been the biggest improvement. I’ll try to write the sex if I can’t avoid it. I’ve been reading these for 15 months; same old, same old. Don’t much want the the stroker’s votes. The choppiness was partly intentional and partly the best I could do.
