Detail is good, but when you go on about stuff that you’ve already made clear it distracts from the story. ” We get it, they’re twins. XXX I’m 20 but ive always wanted to suck a younger guys cockanonymous readerReport 2011-12-20 22:16:24Twin boys um my dreams 2 4 th price of 1anonymous readerReport 2011-02-01 15:31:07wow, bad comments. . . … ” We get it, they’re twins. Like, ““So I guess it’s a turn on to see yourself naked?” talking about Kale seeing him (his twin brother). i loved this strory, and all i can say is: KEEP WRITING! Detail is good, but when you go on about stuff that you’ve already made clear it distracts from the story. thats the only way to work on ur stories!archrevenantReport 2011-01-27 02:43:13Grammar made me stop reading, i skimmed the rest but spelling is important if you want to engage the reader.
