There was poor plot development and your use of colloquialisms and slang greatly detracted from your story development. Before you try again I recommend that you take some creative writing courses. XXNX Don’t give up, just get better. You obviously have a budding imagination but your writing skills leave much to be desired. Your “Choppy” way of writing with short incomplete sentences is almost impossible for the reader to follow a coherent story line or thought process. I give this attempt a 1 out of 10.«12» You obviously have a budding imagination but your writing skills leave much to be desired. Remember when you are writing in the future that you are painting a picture with words in your readers mind. at the beginningAnonymous readerReport 2010-06-17 08:45:45Guys l know why. …
