4 comments«1»anonymous readerReport 2013-09-14 20:02:10Nice story despite misspellings. XXNX Wall of text makes it hard to read.anonymous readerReport 2013-09-14 16:44:58spell check, smaller paragraphs.anonymous readerReport 2013-09-14 15:18:31Always re-read your own stories before posting, I suggest reading them out loud to yourself, as this will reveal a large percentage of your mistakes. Idea of the story is great hopefully you have more ideas similar to this and you proofread and fix your future works before posting them. there where some many errors it was hard to follow the story. Idea of the story is great hopefully you have more ideas similar to this and you proofread and fix your future works before posting them. there where some many errors it was hard to follow the story. Idea of the story is great hopefully you have more ideas similar to this and you proofread and fix your future works before posting them.
