Just slow it down and use a bit more dialog as well, and you got it. You’re a very talented story teller and you really should think of doing a book on this story line. XXX It would be a fun read. 3 comments«1»anonymous readerReport 2013-10-31 18:18:04I have sincerely enjoyed this story line, as well as the characters. It would be a fun read. It would be a fun read. You’re a very talented story teller and you really should think of doing a book on this story line. 3 comments«1»anonymous readerReport 2013-10-31 18:18:04I have sincerely enjoyed this story line, as well as the characters. Keep it up.anonymous readerReport 2013-10-31 15:52:43I have sincerely enjoyed this story line, as well as the characters. It would be a fun read. Keep it up.anonymous readerReport 2013-10-26 23:24:46Very good story glad you went back to it.
