Fix all that and it could be a good story.«1» Fix all that and it could be a good story.«1» 3 comments«1»anonymous readerReport 2011-11-24 10:38:46Whom have you robbed of this story ? Xnxx It clearly was originaly written in the third person, and you just put it in first person, but letting so much “him” or “they” go through …anonymous readerReport 2011-11-15 22:44:08Good story, but you really gotta break up you paragraphs and proof read it.anonymous readerReport 2011-11-15 09:27:02Spelling, grammer, sentance structure, and paragraph structure all suck. Fix all that and it could be a good story.«1» Fix all that and it could be a good story.«1» 3 comments«1»anonymous readerReport 2011-11-24 10:38:46Whom have you robbed of this story ? 3 comments«1»anonymous readerReport 2011-11-24 10:38:46Whom have you robbed of this story ? Fix all that and it could be a good story.«1» It clearly was originaly written in the third person, and
